My Valentines Day – DUMPED
Ok, so here is my Valentines Day, in words, for anyone to read ❤
I woke up at 6:30, by the sound of my alarm on my phone blaring in my ear, couldn’t figure out where it was coming from, then realised i was lying on my phone, so i turned it off, rolled over, and went back to sleep.
Dad woke me up at 7:10, yelled at me, told me i was a lazy bitch, and to get up, so i did, straightened my hair, did my makeup, and got my bag.
Rob has taken me back, so i was actually looking forward to this Valentines Day, I got rob the most amazing card, about a metre tall, with two teddy bears, “To My Loving Boyfriend” i also got him a sweet “I love you” teddy bear and a heart shaped helium balloon, put them in a box, filled it with heart shaped confetti and rose petals, and wrapped it up ready to post on the way to school, even though it wouldn’t be there in time, at least he would get it. We had been going through a bad patch, he wasn’t talking to me, so i was waiting for him to, and hoping that the present would break the ice.
I was running late, so didn’t have time to post it, so made a mental note to do it that evening, and went to school.
I got to school, didn’t get a single Valentines Day card, or a single rose. I find it kind of embarrassing when my 12 year old brother gets more than i do, and all he got was a rose. Oh well, i didn’t let it get to me, because i had the best boyfriend in the world!
I had double PE, which is like the last thing i would ever want to do on a Thursday morning when it is freezing cold. Luckily we only had to do fitness, so we put on the aerobics dance video. DISASTER. I have no coordination. I knew that before, luckily for me, my best mate doesn’t either, so we attempted this video while tripping over each-others feet. Laugh of the day.
Had break, then ICT, carried on with my coursework, and screamed at the printer because it kept getting jammed. Went to art, organised all my coursework, sulked about how my drawing of a piece of coral looked more like an overly used bristly toothbrush than coral.
Had lunch, then went to chemistry, where i couldn’t even remember the two main groups of elements on the periodic table. Metals and Non-Metals…. grrrrrrrrrrrr. I am so far behind on my coursework that me and Cazzie got sent to the LRC (Library) to do the coursework. We sat there, gossiped, became lesbian valentines, and doodled in a notebook, which is now the official “Maths NoteBook” (how original).
The bell went, and i had to say goodbye to Cazzie, narrowly avoid lesbian sex in the toilet (inside joke) and went to ICT to do some coursework after school. My teacher said how good my work was!! I was actually quite proud.
I then had to walk home, carrying my huge art folder. I kid you not, this thing is HUGE, and so heavy. It took my 45 minutes to walk home with it, when it usually takes 30.
I got home, kept and eye on my brother, and went on the laptop. Changed my msn name, putting in a tribute to my new lesbian valentine, Cazzie, a joke, obviously.
My boyfriend messaged me on msn, told me it was over. Almost five months of my life, gone, just like that. So we had a long discussion/argument about how it was over. I asked him to tell me on the phone, i thought i would feel better being dumped by his voice, not his words on the screen, but i wasn’t, i just sat there and cried down the phone to him, begging him not to dump me, which resulted with him hanging up on me…(YAY for dignity). I went offline, threw the card away, and the teddy, and let the balloon go, (it got stuck in a tree. Just my luck.) and cried my heart out on the phone to various people, and crawled into bed with a bottle of vodka, chocolate, and ice cream. Typical dumped syndrome.
Of all the days he could of dumped me, he had to pick then. No break up has ever hurt this much before, i would do anything to have him back. We had our whole life planned, down to our wedding cake, now its gone.
He started texting me at 11, and we spent till 12 texting, he said he still loved me, but wont date me. He has completely broke my heart. He knew how much i loved him, i have never felt this way. Everything reminds me of him, i really cannot live without him, im so scared of loving anyone else, all they do is break my heart.
Thanks for reading about my day, i didn’t know it would be so shit!
Love Knows No Distance
How can the world judge what we do today?
If we mean but well, how are we astray?
How can anyone dare tell us we’re wrong
When our hearts speak otherwise?
So often we’re told to keep straight in line.
“Don’t be diff’rent for it’s a deadly crime.
Love through lines and wires can never be real.”
This they claim with heartless words;
Even my family doesn’t want to believe
Through chance I found my lover on a screen
But when we’ve cut the wires and joined our hands
I have to wonder if they understand
He’s just a stranger that I met online
I’m sure to get it if we meet in real time
But I know better: We’re in love, you see
And if they still claim to know better than me
I’ll tell the fools the truth that you’re
My favorite stranger.
Oh yes, my favorite stranger.
How can the world believe in their own lies,
Discourage hope, bring tears to empty eyes?
They care not for the heartbreak that they cause,
Only their selfish belief.
Maybe they’ll come to realize in time
When my heart stays with you, your hand in mine
Not every man thinks only of one thing;
Nor am I a desperate fool.
I know you well; I’ve read you like a book,
And every day I take another look.
Love’s about learning, and we always will.
Yet even when we touch they insist still
He’s just a stranger that I met online
I’m sure to get it when we meet in real time
But I know better: We’re in love, you see
And if they still claim to know better than me
I’ll tell the fools the truth that you’re
My favorite stranger.
You’re my favorite stranger.
Not a word amiss, not a soul apart:
You’re the living breath behind my beating heart
You’re the reason I am filled with love today
And no lie can take that away.
You’re just a stranger that I met online,
But we’re the same now that we’ve met in real time.
Yes, I knew better; I trusted my heart.
And even when we’ll once more be apart,
I’ll insist you’ll always be
My favorite stranger.
Author’s Comments
The world claims that is it impossible to love over long distance or the internet because you supposedly “cannot know the person” and because of the lack of physical contact.
My sister in particular made a rather snide remark the day before Jeff arrived, claiming, “He’s only a stranger. You can’t possibly know anything about him. You’ve invited a stranger to our house.”
Of course, I know much better. I got exactly what was “advertised”.
I wanted to write this song because of that inspiration. Many people mistakenly say that online friends cannot be real friends and online love is impossible. They refuse to accept that there are some circles of interest so small that perhaps the only way to connect them is by the internet. They refuse to accept that some people have greater patience and understanding and honesty than the average man and can deal with the hardships of a long-distance relationship.
They refuse to accept that not everyone in the internet is a serial killer or rapist looking for their next victim, instead choosing to believe the media which is so often full of filth and lies.
Internet and long-distance relationships are certainly not for everyone, but to the determined, such obstacles will not last forever. Not even those who do not believe in us, or mock us, or discourage us.
I did not write this, but i think its lovely, credit to the author.
Regarding Earlier Post
Just a response to my earlier post: https://samanthalouise.wordpress.com/2008/02/08/holding-on-to-him/
He finally dumped me for real, i guess i deserved it.
I never loved anyone as much as i loved him, and being dumped has never hurt that much, i guess i now know the true feeling of heartbreak.
5 things i will remember:
-
The first time he told me he loved me.
-
How he asked me to be his gf while we were playing hangman online.
-
How we were going to have chocolate wedding cake.
-
Boom Boom Boom, i want you in my room and Avril Lavigne – Innocence
-
When he said they were having Gales, and i asked “Who’s Gale?”
I’ll tell you one last time
I don’t wanna know it’s over
So save your goodbye kiss
I don’t wanna know it’s over
Cause ignorance is bliss
I can hardly see
What’s in front of me
Cause the vodka’s running on empty
I can’t stay sober
If it’s over
</3
you’re not friends. you’ll never be friends.
you’ll be in love til it kills you both.
you’ll fight and you’ll have sex, and you’ll
hate eachother until it makes you quiver.
but you will never be friends.
there is someone in her past that she hasn’t gotten over yet.
Each day’s like the last. She misses what she cant forget.
Its just an empty space where something used to be.
Now she guards the gate, but she’s lost the key.
So no one enters, but no one leaves.
Holding On To Him
On sunday, i did something really stupid, and lost the one person i love more than anything, he says we have a chance together still, but he is unsure.
I keep listening to this song, and wanted to post the lyrics here, because i am holding on to him, and refuse to let him go.
You’re not alone
Together we stand
I’ll be by your side, you know I’ll take your hand
When it gets cold
And it feels like the end
There’s no place to go
You know I won’t give in
No I won’t give in
Keep holding on
‘Cause you know we’ll make it through, we’ll make it through
Just stay strong
‘Cause you know I’m here for you, I’m here for you
There’s nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There’s no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
‘Cause you know we’ll make it through, we’ll make it through
So far away
I wish you were here
Before it’s too late, this could all disappear
Before the doors close
And it comes to an end
With you by my side I will fight and defend
I’ll fight and defend
Yeah, yeah
Keep holding on
‘Cause you know we’ll make it through, we’ll make it through
Just stay strong
‘Cause you know I’m here for you, I’m here for you
There’s nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There’s no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
‘Cause you know we’ll make it through, we’ll make it through
Hear me when I say, when I say I believe
Nothing’s gonna change, nothing’s gonna change destiny
Whatever’s meant to be will work out perfectly
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
La da da da
La da da da
La da da da da da da da da
Keep holding on
‘Cause you know we’ll make it through, we’ll make it through
Just stay strong
‘Cause you know I’m here for you, I’m here for you
There’s nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There’s no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
‘Cause you know we’ll make it through, we’ll make it through
Keep holding on
Keep holding on
There’s nothing you could say
Nothing you could do
There’s no other way when it comes to the truth
So keep holding on
‘Cause you know we’ll make it through, we’ll make it through
I Really hope we can make it through.
A Dog’s New Year Resolutions.
I will stop trying to find the few remaining clean pieces of carpet in the house when I am about to throw up.
I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
I will not eat other animals’ poop.
I will not lick my human’s face after eating animal poop.
I will not eat my own vomit.
I will not eat “kitty box crunchies”.
I will not eat any more socks and then re-deposit them in the backyard after processing.
The diaper pail is not a cookie jar. I will not eat the disposable diapers, especially the dirty ones.
I will not chew my human’s toothbrush and not tell them.
I will not chew crayons or pens, specially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.
When in the car, I will not insist on having the window rolled down when it’s raining outside.
I will not drop soggy tennis balls in the underwear of someone who is sitting on the toilet.
I will not bark each time I hear a door bell on TV.
I will not walk under the big dog when he is peeing.
I will not steal Mom’s underwear and dance all over the back yard with it.
I will not play tug-o’-war with Dad’s underwear when he’s on the toilet.
The sofa is not a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dad’s laps.
My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
I will not bite the officer’s hand when he reaches in for Mom’s driver’s license and car registration.
I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I’m lying under the coffee table.
I will not roll my toys behind the fridge.
The garbage collector is NOT stealing our stuff.
I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.
Quotes For Today
Forever seems so lonely without you by my side </3
You’re only as strong as the table you dance on, the drinks you mix.. and the friends you keep
the only boy that deserves you, is the one who thinks he doesnt
the one that will stick by your side no matter how much you mess up
the one who will love and forgive you mistake after mistake after mistake
you’re not the breath i breath…just the sweet scent i enjoy
you’re not the sights i see…just the most beautiful of them
you’re not the ground i walk on…just the partner i lean on
you’re not my life…just the one i want to spend it with
A Random Post About Life And Perfection.
I have the feeling that im standing in front of a mirror and seeing myself for what i am for the very first time. Then i get the feeling I’m watching myself look into that mirror from a distance, so i can see myself clearly, as-well as my reactions to myself.
Its a strange feeling.
Like life is running away, and their is no way to pull it back, the harder i try to catch up with it, the faster it runs. Every-time I’m looking back in the mirror, and still unaccomplished, like i never achieve nothing, and all i do is mess things up.
Maybe i take what my parents say straight to heart, or maybe to seriously, but they are the only people I want to make happy in the world, they are the people i try my hardest for. I stopped trying for myself a long time ago. When I get straight A’s, they ain’t good enough, I know they expect straight A*’s, but that’s not going to happen. I already feel worthless enough, without their needed input. I don’t need their constant criticism, i feel bad enough anyway, I’m not going to meet their expectations, so they should just drop it. So what if im not perfect? So what if i cant write in a perfectly straight line?
I’m done with trying to be perfect. Perfection is something that cannot be made if it is not created from the start, yet perfection, once created can be destroyed all to easy. Our world, was created perfect, complete, yet it is slowly being destroyed. A human cannot be perfect, but can destroy perfect things. Maybe that’s just the way it was meant to be.
I don’t really know what the point to the post was, but i know i have to stop trying to please everyone. Stop trying to be perfect, because it is never going to happen. Time is going to run away, and i cant stop it, but i have to make the most of it, the best i can. We all do.
Live Each Day Like It’s Your Last.
Make Every Moment Count.
Live Every Hour, Every Minute, Every Day.
Life Is What You Make It.
Samie 